My Biological Unit has Crashed!

Notes from Alexis: We just watched the latest movie on Star Trek the other night, and I have to laugh; I forgot that we are biological units! But life with computers has not gotten any easier in so Many ways!

April 25, 1985

Dearest Lex,

Computer nerds say their system’s crash, and on Star Trek the other day, a person was called a biological unit, so this biological unit has crashed (meaning me). Almost six weeks to the day from when I brought the Kaypro home; you could bet the farm on it, couldn’t you?

I got up yesterday, and that was it. I crashed! My neurons and protons had all fused, not to mention all the other machinery that had melted. I went into town, just as mellow as a marshmallow. Somehow this must have communicated to others, for people were smiling and speaking to me all the time. I wish that sometimes I could see what I look like to others. Don’t I?

MORE ABOUT COMPUTER’S. Well, I now have Datastar in a simple-Simon sort of way. I can do elementary things, and I have a grade school comprehension of what I am doing. Reportstar is still out in left field, but I feel that I can get it eventually, which makes me feel good.

An interesting thing happened to me yesterday, and I will tell you, as I am sure you will appreciate it. I was whining around about not being rich and famous (to myself of course) and I heard, “Would you feel better if you knew it was all preparation for something else?” (Or was it somewhere else)?

Well, sure! Nobody minds putting in some time and effort for a reason. What galls me, is that it has all seemed for naught. I haven’t been able to get a hold on the reason for all of it. What’s it all about Alfie? That really cheered me up, and I got up this morning all full of vim and vigor.

You know what is so peculiar about my six-week crash program, is that I go down physically and mentally. My body feels like it has been out hoeing corn, and the mind…well, forget the mind. I have been going tooth and toenail at this computer business. It has actually been longer than six weeks if you count the time I spent in school, which I don’t, because the time that matters is since I got my own computer, right?

I have started organizing all my files on my books in the computer, and then it dawned on me what an extraordinary complex thing writing is. I have all these names and all these facts, putting them in order, has reacquainted me with them, drawn me into them once again, and I love it.

One of the things that has bothered me recently is I have a noticed a tendency in myself to be rather blasé about everything. I don’t like that. I definitely DO NOT LIKE THAT! I believe very firmly that things should matter. They should matter a lot, and to just sit around and not care, whether school keeps or not, just doesn’t seem right.

Getting that little message (above), brightened my day. I think that one of the reasons that I never could succeed with weaving and spinning, and art of any kind is that I really didn’t care. None of the things (with the possible exception of Frameworks) meant anything to me personally. The writing matters. I can’t actually get over how much the characters mean to me, and how real they seem to me. I don’t hold on to them, but when I am reacquainted with them, I remember how they affected me.

Now back to you. I would love a visit in May. The Sooner, Soonest, is Bestest. I have to admit that the visit with you surrounded by your hordes, didn’t enthrall me. I just decided that there would be no visit, and I had accepted that. Yeh! for not accepting.

Well, P. says she is definitely ‘preggers’ and is thrilled as can be. I just may have to stop going over for my little visits. I can’t take it anymore! They keep the house at about 90 degrees and filthy, and between P. and Little J., I am ready to scream after about 15 minutes. P. and J. really hate the fits Little J. throws, but instead of stopping him, or teaching him, they just throw fits themselves. I am fit to be tied, with all their fits!

The weather turned bad here a week ago last Monday, as Dad was out on the lake with J.B. and two other old farts, in J.B.’s boat. Dad said it was as bad a storm as he was ever in, and he was glad to get home. It stayed bad all the week he was off, which forced him to rest. God only knows, how hard he would have worked in the garden and so forth, if and when, the weather had been good.

He went back to work feeling like a million dollars; of course it was hell for me. He ‘gloomed’ around the house snarling at the weather, and feeling sorry for himself, because he couldn’t kill himself working/playing. Life is hard. Thank God for coffee. Oh, by the way, the new bakery didn’t turn out to be so wonderful. His bread definitely is not Metropole’s (in Eugene) and his second cake was plastered over with sugar and shortening. The first one had cream cheese frosting, but I suppose that was just for show.

Would you believe I have run out of anything to say? Will close -for now, and hope to see you in a week or so. Anyway, by then I have decreed that the weather will be good. Check that underscoring. Just one of the many things I can do if I set my mind to it.

Write soon and tell me cheerful things. Who knows, maybe I will even regain my sense of humor.