Overcome with the Wonder of it all!

Notes from Alexis: Life is a ‘stage’ and we are just experiencing it one day at a time, sometimes with no clue what we are doing.

APRIL 4, 1985

Dearest Lex,

Well, we had three days of spring and now it is cloudy and cold again. ‘Squirrely‘ came out, so it is definitely spring.

I was fortunate enough to get to see them blasting down the bridge. One of the last times I expect, because all of the old bridge is gone except under water. A magnificent column of water shot up bigger and higher than I would have supposed. They have hauled in lumber and forms for the new bridge. All very interesting and fast!

Well, I have finally, finally learned Wordstar – the word processing software that came with my Kaypro. It took me two weeks, but I got it at last. Now on to the spreadsheet and database, eh?

The thing is, I have been overcome with the wonder of it all. Just imagine learning the computer! Nobody else is awed. Those who know computers think I’m a simpleton, and those who don’t, could care less. Dad and J. dismissed the greatest event in my life since babies, with an “I knew you could do it.” How smug. I appreciate the confidence, but I certainly didn’t know I could do it.

Let’s face it, I am doomed to never get any recognition for my achievements. There is no way I can ever impress anyone. How many years and how many times have I said that? You would think I would quit trying.

The thing is, that I never set out on a course with the idea of impressing anyone. I always have some other object in mind, but when I do ‘conquer’, I want laurels! I think that is unreasonable and illogical on my part, but there it is – I am unreasonable and illogical, I admit it.

Still, I treasure all my successes. When I was a child, I assumed everybody in the world knew everything, and I would have to run hard to catch up. Now I am a walking encyclopedia in some areas, and nobody cares, but me.

You must not assume from this tirade that I am glum. Far from it. Smug maybe, but not glum. I wouldn’t trade all my brain and hand smarts, for fame and glory. Impressing the C.’s would be a poor exchange. I am just showing you some of my frustrations, and I can’t decide which amuses me the most,  that I want to impress, or that everybody refuses to be impressed.

The book “No Name” (for lack of a name) is pushing me, it doesn’t like it, having to simmer while the computer pot boils. I awoke at six this morning with another chapter or two. I still have to write out the first draft by hand, but maybe in time I’ll be able to work directly on the computer.

Well, back to earth. I am enclosing a catalog I got because it might be what you want for your house. I vaguely recall you mentioning something about silk screening, or dyeing, or whatever, the cloth. The description in the catalog, makes my mouth water. Dad is anxious for me to get the stuff on the loom woven, and off, so he can take down the loom and store it. He brought home a huge box for it, and I realized that he was just tolerating the weaving. It was never been any big deal to him; so I will brave the head pain, and make it up this weekend. When the loom comes down, an era will have ended, sadly enough. First the hippies, then the “Outback Pottery” and now the “Spinning Wheel.”

I look at my life and I can plainly see all the stages, just like reading a map. It doesn’t do at all to mourn the passing of a stage; it is all inevitable, but we humans just cling to the illusion of ‘forever’. We refuse to see that all is ‘quicksilver’ in our hands. This is a most curious and most human trait, don’t you agree?

Well, enough philosophy and down to earth. A bakery has opened behind the Stevens Restaurant, and he has tables and serves coffees (cappuccino), and makes really good pastries.

We are eating lettuce out of the greenhouse finally. In the spring we just get so hungry for greens. Dad said yesterday that he didn’t have an ache or pain, and actually felt good. This is the first time he has said that in a year or more, so I believe the cabbage juice is working.

Will close for now,

Love

Mom

Advertisements