Life before “Hatching”

Notes from Alexis: Plan B (writing) has now officially hatched into life. Nothing will be the same again.


Dearest Lex,

It was so good to hear your voice and I thank you for calling. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t call you but I just never think of the telephone. Telephones are for business or emergency. I can’t get it through my head that they can be for pleasure, too.

Yes, I do believe I’ve gotten my second wind. I feel like my old self, a little, but mostly I feel like my new self. This past year has been a lot like a hatching. It isn’t so much like I’ve changed as that I’ve emerged.

Life B.H. (before hatching) and A.H. (after hatching) were just the same only different, but now there is a certain freedom not here before. All of my activities up until now have always been centered in the home and now they are in me. I suspect this was my moving into myself, that I told you, I felt was going to happen. It may, indeed, be a physical move but it may also have been a sure instinct of a sea change taking place inside. I have, for all practical purposes, hatched.

Now that I have started writing, my whole world has changed. Of course, it could be that my world changed and so now I can write. And I don’t overlook menopause as being the catalyst either. Remember Plan A was to be a mother. Perhaps I had to go through menopause to be completely through with Plan A so Plan B(be a writer) could go into effect.

I have simply undergone a complete mental and physical change. My clock hit fifty and rang. Biological clocks are very interesting and let me tell you about another one.

I was ‘wont’ to have a cocktail now and again when I was young and started dating, and going to nightclubs and dances. They bothered me a dab in the beginning but this bothering became severe by the age of 25 or 26, and as you know I had to give up alcohol in any form or fashion. Now J. tells Dad that beer and wine give him headaches. Thought provoking eh? It would appear that J. got the gene with a built in alarm. We will be watching him for his 50th ring won’t we?

I have been doing all the little piddly jobs that have to be done before winter, Painted wheelbarrow, and outside of outside refrigerator, shampooed all my rugs. Have to start winterizing the garden – prune raspberries, pull corn stalks etc. etc. The big one is I have to caulk around edges of roof to stop leaks and spray leak places with Purex in the house to get rid of stains. All these things are very blah, nothing at all creative or interesting but they take a load off my mind.

It was almost freezing last night and the air has a certain chill to it but the trees and things don’t believe it for a moment. Nothing has started to turn, so maybe it is just me.

At this time I can’t imagine that there is anyone in Klamath Falls left who doesn’t know I am writing a book. I have told one and all and this has been quite an education to me. For the vast majority of folks it is about as interesting as watching lettuce wilt. To me it is the most exciting thing in the world.

I may end up buying an Apple computer simply because the young man there was so thrilled with me writing- he said WOW! and even said he felt grateful – to meet me. He’ll go far.

Now for another book to read. Farley Mowat’s “The Dog Who Wouldn’t Be.” This is an old book of his so likely to be in your library. It is a lovely book but it has moments like lightening. I’m afraid I’ll burst out laughing at odd and peculiar moments just because I happen to think of something from that book. Too funny, a must read!

Tomorrow I go in and Xerox off Part II—Bainbridge of EAB. Today I will begin typing Part III — Wellman. I still have two chapters to clean up a bit but it’s mostly just housekeeping things – nothing major.

We simply must get to work on the ‘agent’ problem but I just realized it has to be someone who needs me as bad as I need them. I tell you the truth, Alexis, I am no longer ‘hat in hand,’ I’m not interested in begging. Whoever gets me gets a money making machine because I’ve got books and books awaiting. I can feel them in a holding pattern waiting for landing position.

One thing that hasn’t changed with me is when I do something I go at it like killing snakes. All out, full bore! So I guess I didn’t hatch, so much as explode from my shell.

Got to run and mail this. You were worried about me missing Dad (while he is hunting) but I tell you I have been so busy I have just fallen into bed exhausted at night. I forced myself to stay up until 9:30 last night to watch ballet, I am a ballet freak but it was a struggle.